What To Do When You Mess Up: Something I Need(ed) To Learn

Inspired by Andrew Farley’s book, Twisted Scripture

My twisted thinking about me, the Bible and God

For most of my life, when I messed up, my first instinct was guilt. Then came the self-punishment. I’d beat myself up, replay my mistakes, and convince myself that I wasn’t good enough. I’d spiral into thoughts of how I had disappointed God, how I needed to do better, how I screwed up again, I needed to be better, and somehow earn back His favor.

It was exhausting. And completely unnecessary.

Left to my arrogant devices, I transform God's completed plan into a project that needs my supposed improvements, ignorant of its inherent perfection

What Andrew Farley teaches makes sense. I needed this. God promises to renew my mind, and this is part of it. This is an honest, biblical solution for when I mess up. Instead of staying stuck in guilt, this is what I’m going to try:

1. Thank God, Instead of Begging for Forgiveness
   For years, I thought I had to keep asking God to forgive me, as if each sin put me back at zero and I had to earn my way back into His good graces. But the truth is, I’m already forgiven. Jesus' sacrifice was once and for all (Hebrews 10:10). So instead of begging, I thank God for His unshakable grace. When I sin, I say, “Thank You, Father, that I am already forgiven. Thank You that my righteousness isn’t based on my behavior but on Christ’s finished work.”

2. Turn, Instead of Wallowing
   Guilt used to keep me stuck, like being trapped in quicksand. But guilt doesn’t help us grow—it just wears us down. Now, when I recognize that I’ve messed up, I’m going to turn in a new direction. Not to earn God’s favor (I already have it), but because I know I’m designed for something better. Repentance isn’t about groveling—it’s about stepping forward in the freedom I already have.

3. Trust, Instead of Trying to ‘Make Up for It’
   In the past, I’d feel like I had to prove myself all over again, like my relationship with God had hit ‘reset’ and I needed to earn back my place. But that’s the opposite of grace. Now, I’m going to trust that my standing with God never changes, even when I fail. I trust that He sees me as righteous because of Christ, not because of my track record. And I trust that He’s not shaking His head in disappointment—He’s right there, walking with me, ready to remind me of who I truly am.

4. Come Boldly, Instead of Hiding
   Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." In my old way of thinking, I felt like I had to clean myself up before I could approach God. Now, I’m going to come boldly—even in my mess—because I know that’s exactly where grace meets me.

   

Living in a Continual Relationship With God

Farley’s perspective is freeing. Our relationship with God isn’t based on a running tally of successes and failures. It’s not interrupted when we mess up. We don’t have to wait until we ‘feel’ good enough to talk to Him again. We are good enough—because He made us good enough.

This shift in thinking changes everything. Instead of sin leading me into a shame spiral, it now leads me toward God, because I know I’m already embraced. Instead of beating myself up, I remind myself that I’m deeply loved, fully forgiven, and always welcome in His presence.

So when I mess up—and I will—the best thing to do is simply this: Thank, Turn, Trust, and Come Boldly.

That’s grace. And this is what I’m going to try.