I Can't Sleep

Dad, I know you tried to teach
Me, stubborn, angry, no time to listen
Dad, I know you had to offer
A different way than mine
Dad, I know you had to offer
Truth, time tested

And now, too late

They say, “remember the good times” --- Dad, I do
Coffee on the veranda, just sitting, no pressure to talk
Asking, talking, the meaning of life

Where are you now?

I feel so empty
You gave so much, so little I returned
I wish only I could give back
The love, the grace, the patience, the lessons you taught

But Dad, why?  I understand but wish it was not so
The night before, last thing said, “Thank you for all your help.”
I did not understand
I did not realize

Oh God, forgive me

BANG
NO, NO, NO.  Oh my God, WHAT HAPPENED

Finding you, me I am sobbing ----- now I understand
It all makes sense
Dad forgive me
I did not understand

Life is different now
No one I can talk to, no, not the same

They say, “remember the good times,”
With an ache in my heart
Dad, I do

Written by the Son of my Father